Something’s been missing. I couldn’t figure out what. These past few weeks, I’ll hear a song, think about a color, or see a picture and feel this ache in my heart. On Monday I was standing in the kitchen in that same funk and realized what it was. “Oh yes. Summer. Living things. That’s what I’ve been wanting.”
I don’t mind the cold. Really, it feels refreshing, like peppermint. Nothing wakes you like -20 on the way to the gym. I think the snow is beautiful. Taking a jog around a frozen lake is exhilarating. But there is this hollow place that needs green things, dirt and garden tomatoes.
I think back to my childhood and how I treasured that first patch of spring mud, how I stepped out barefoot even though the ground was still freezing. I saw purple crocuses and those little flowers that look like a bunch of grapes turned upside down. These colors meant hope, an imminent Spring.
We have a long time yet until Spring.
Thankfully, there is much to be done around here, and it’s a good excuse to stay inside and focus. Focus Tiffany, focus. String together a few nice sentences. Organize. Finish decorating the house, with all its bare corners.
So I find myself at my favorite thrift store, where I may get gunned down one of these days. It’s not in the sunniest area of town. But those kinds of stores are the best, because they are sitting on a pile of vintage gold, and no one realizes it. Which is why I always come out buying way more than I intended, even though I promise Seth that I am saving him so much money by thrifting.
So even though I can’t have Spring, I now have:
A rainstick. (Pictured above. Because every family needs a rainstick.)
New wall decor for the kitchen.
A milk bucket, for my once-and-future Jersey cow.
A new bag. I’ve decided to graduate from purses.
Chairs! Because while I promised myself that in 2011 I would focus my energies and write, winter seems like a great time to dabble into upholstery. That should keep me busy until the snow melts.