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What April showers bring…

April 29, 2011

So here’s the plain truth:

April has been a challenging month. It picked me up by the heels, swung me upside down, and shook me silly.

The snow melted, the birds returned, the Earth burst forth…and I wasn’t ready. Somehow I just hadn’t expected so much at once, and I was left scrambling to prepare for this new season called Spring.

And just as I was getting into it, switching out the snow boots for rain boots, the snow shovels for the rakes, and loading up my seed trays, the winter returned. Wet and clingy, it was more cruel than January’s dark days. Such a tease, this funny Minnesota Spring, to show us hope on your outstretched palm only to snatch it back again.

I spent the month watching small things grown in very small ways. I hunted (and am still hunting) for a proper school for my boys, and settled into my discontent with public education. I researched the way boys think and operate, and how best to help the wildly divergent learning styles here in my home. I decided it was time to outsource.

This meant hours and hours of bustling around to appointments. I was reminded how much running errands and making phone calls sucks the soul right out of me.

And this is where I arrived yesterday, April 28, barely able to catch my breath. I listened to “Anne of Green Gables” in the car and cried because I used to be a little girl who collected big dreams, and now I collect Target receipts.

I went home and while the little guys napped and played, I took a much-needed nap myself. When I woke up, my bed was filled with small Lego creations, gifts courtesy of Preston. I slowed down long enough to read an essay called “On Marriage” by Robert Louis Stevenson, an appropriate nod to today’s royal wedding. Preston and I set up an assembly line to make thick slices of eggplant parmesan.

Then I pulled on my rain boots and jacket and stepped outside. The warm air on my skin surprised me. It had been so cold, just that morning, damp and wretched. But up in the sky, the clouds were thinning and the air smelled like daffodils.

The sun was coming out.

  1. Julia permalink
    April 29, 2011 8:44 am

    I love the line, “I used to be a little girl who collected big dreams, and now I collect Target receipts.” haha you make me laugh! Loved the post and all the pictures! Asher looks so cute in that helmet.

  2. April 29, 2011 4:01 pm

    I love that line too! I feel that way many times.

    But of course it’s not true, is it. For one thing, you’re collecting barefoot boys and readers. And those are real treasures.

  3. nat scott permalink
    May 3, 2011 7:57 pm

    It’s clear to me why God sent you 4 boys, Tiffany. No one raises boys like you do (anymore!). What a tribute they will pay to their blessed mother one day. 🙂

    You are inspiring.

  4. May 4, 2011 2:25 pm

    Now you know why T.S. Eliot wrote, “April is the cruelest month.”

    And for me, it’s ironing that gets me down and reminds me down like that. So I stopped doing it completely. Long live wrinkled clothes and living dreams!

  5. May 4, 2011 2:26 pm

    Pardon the typo…too late to be internetting, apparently.

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