Not getting any younger
I had my wisdom teeth out this weekend. I know, I know. The poor kid that went in before me was 17. I kept thinking, Why didn’t I do this a decade ago?
But I have to admit I’ve been looking forward with delight to this weekend. Two days in bed! To do what I want! Read, write, clean out my email inbox, get caught up on Downton Abbey. You know, the important things in life. Ah, the lengths we mothers go to to carve out a piece of downtime!
In my pre-surgery exam a few weeks back, the dentist handed me a list of side effects and recovery tips. As I looked in horror at the rules: no food for the first two days, no hard foods for a week, (and in the end you might develop dry socket anyway), I asked him, “Um, is this worth it?”
“Well,” he said, shining a light in my mouth, “you’re not getting any younger.”
His statement has haunted me ever since. I’m not getting any younger. I’m not getting any younger. I certainly don’t feel any different than I did in my twenties, but I do feel life rumbling by at an alarming pace. Snap, there goes 2011. Snap, there goes January and half of February. Snap, there go my babies, all full-fledged boys now.
Now, to be clear, I don’t mind getting older. What I mind is running out of time to do all the things on my laundry list in the sky. I have big plans.
This weekend I finally picked up a book I’ve been wanting to read for a long time: Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes. Ever paragraph has left me breathless and saying, Yes, yes! This is what I’ve been searching for the past ten years. I want to put it into the hands of every family I know, from the mothers who wander through Target wondering, “Is this it? Is this all I have to look forward to?” to the fathers so thin on time with their families, to the children who get pulled like wooden ducks on a string from one activity to the next.
So I’ve spent much of this weekend reading, writing, and hatching my future plans. I want to slow things down. I want to create. I want to gather my family around me in meaningful moments. I want to be fearless.
Mostly, I want to act, and not be acted upon. That’s really the great secret to accomplishing our goals, isn’t it?
How about you? Are you making big goals? And are you making them happen?